DAILY SLICES OF LIFE - Cultivating Your Inner Voice

 

 “Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice.”

          This powerful advice is contained in the famous Stanford University Commencement Address given in 2005 by Steve Jobs, one of America’s greatest entrepreneurs. He was founder and CEO of at- least two extremely successful enterprises, Apple Computers and Pixar Animation studios, and has received international acclaim for his work. In the speech, he elaborated in greater detail the reason for this advice when he stated:

 “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.”

 In saying this, Steve Jobs was drawing attention to one of the most destructive behavioral activities to which most of us fall victim. He was not only reminding us of our relatively limited lifespan, but warning us of our tendency to follow others, to copy their behavior and listen to them, all the while drowning our inner voice and preventing us from truly being ourselves. He insisted that we should instead be following our intuition and our heart, the very seat of our inner voice.

          Mahatma Gandhi, the great Indian leader who successfully led a non-violent revolution against the British Colonial power and became the first prime minister of the Republic of India, who lived his whole life guided by taking time to listen to his inner voice. This has led him to often make decisions that appeared to be contrary to public opinion, and refused to waiver. He described the inner voice in these words:

 “A little voice within us tells us you are on the right track, move neither to your left or to your right, but keep to the straight and narrow road.”

He elaborated further with words so precise, they leave no room for misunderstanding him:

“The inner voice cannot be described in words. But sometimes we have a positive feeling that something in us prompts us to do a certain thing.”

To Gandhi, the inner voice was synonymous with conscience, and consistent with his high moral and ethical principles. They must be obeyed in spite of any external pressures to the contrary.

         The term “inner voice” might be giving a wrong impression of what it really is. It is not a sound of anything, it is not physical, nor can it be measured or recorded in anyway. People throughout the ages have tried to offer their own explanation, which though very different, were all true:

Lao Tzu, the ancient Chinese philosopher described it as:

“The eternal Spiritual essence that is real to you and always in there, looking out.”

Plato, the ancient Roman philosopher was precise when he said:

          “It was the dialogue of the soul with itself.”

Aristotle, a student of Plato was more descriptive:

“It was a deep inner vision that speaks with the voice of practical wisdom, and rightfully claims a solitary self.”

Irrespective of their descriptions, they all recognized that this activity is a fundamental part of your conscious experience; your deepest thoughts expressed in one’s inner voice.

         Over the centuries, this phenomenon has been subjected to extensive study by a whole range of experts including psychologists, physiologists, and philosophers, and a great deal has been written on the topic. But little evidence has been found on the actual mechanism and the likely site in the brain where the activity occurs. But to this day these have been conjectures, without absolute certainty. Yet its presence or its effect however, are very well recognized by most people and expressed by them in such statements as, ‘go with your gut’, ‘trust your instinct’, ‘follow your intuition’ and ‘listen to yourself’.  

         Most people will clearly admit to having experienced some kind of ‘force’ that seems to appear at critical times. It may not necessarily be a voice, but be a feeling, a thought, or a physical response. But whatever it may be, the result has the effect of helping you to solve a difficult situation, make better decisions, get a clearer view of problems and live a more fulfilled and contented life.  Dawn Ostroff, a very successful business person and author, was quite positive when she advised:

“Listen to your inner voice. Trust your intuition. It’s important to have the courage to trust yourself.”

         Throughout our lives, our inner voice is constantly working, offering guidance, most of the time gently, but at other times, when the situation needs it, urgently. Unfortunately, although most of us will listen and respondent from time to time, but generally we tend to set them aside. This is not difficult to understand since we are all essentially controlled by our ego, which is far more concerned with our immediate gratification rather than long term needs. This explains why we are all driven to satisfy our immediate needs, and less inclined to worry about our future. It is no surprise therefore few of us stop long enough to listen as we impulsively respond to situations in ways that satisfy the moment, and not necessarily our best interest. Maureen Dowd, a Pulitzer Prize columnist, placed this behavior in the right context when she wrote:

“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.”

         Despite the presence of this wonderful facility deeply embedded within us and always available to help and guide us, the truth is that very few of us ever take the time to understand and make full use of its benefits. The reason is not difficult to understand since we spend all our day using our logic and our knowledge to solve the problems as they come along. We are more concerned to respond in the moment, often without ever trying to question the outcome. And even when our instincts try to draw our attention, we will try to override it in order to satisfy ourselves in the moment, by choosing logic, reason, and desire we are aiming to please others. At times your inner voice will try to warn you, but we try to ignore this as we continue to keep up with the demands of the current milieu. Even further, we often actually reject our basic instinct because it runs contrary to our plans. How many times have we all found ourselves in situations where we instinctively knew we should be avoided and yet to avoid embarrassment we continue and end up disappointed or embarrassed?

         But becoming truly conversant with your inner voice is neither automatic, nor does it come easily. It needs to be acquired and developed in much the same way we acquire all our essential functions like speech. Learning and behavior. Dr. Deepak Chopra, a physician and very popular inspirational speaker described this in the following  terms:

“Listening to your inner voice is like training a new muscle. It won’t happen overnight, but if you make a consistent effort to hone it, the stronger it becomes.”

-Therein lies the true secret of cultivating your inner voice. It is like an uncut gem which requires time and attention to develop. But once this is completed, its power will last forever.

 

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DAILY SLICES OF LIFE - Living a Full Life

 

                                     “Life is only a reflection of what we allow ourselves to see.”

         This very fascinating and appropriate comment was made by a young and exciting Australian Holistic Psychologist Trudy Symeonakis Vesotsky. In saying this, she was drawing attention to the fact that all of our life is a reflection of how we choose to respond to changes around us. She insisted that all the decisions we make all the subsequent behavior that results from them were far less related to the prevailing circumstances, and much more by how we choose to view these circumstances.

          The beauty and strength of this quotation is firmly founded on its truth and simplicity. It would explain why some people always seem to remain happy and contented, even when conditions are difficult, while others appear to be continually sad and unfulfilled, irrespective of whether the prevailing conditions are in their favor or otherwise. Vesotsky is suggesting that almost always, the life we eventually lead is largely related to the choices we make in dealing with our life situations, and not on the degree of difficulty that the situations may provide..

          To a significant extent, our state of mind at any moment is determined by how we think and view the world around us. The more positive our attitude to deal with the problems becomes, the easier will we be able to find answers and be satisfied. We are able to focus better, to concentrate on the things that can be managed and to find solutions that satisfy us. Others, already immersed with negativity, will choose to spend their time focusing on those things that can go wrong, and not on trying to find suitable answers. Alternatively, because of lack of confidence in themselves, they choose to look to others to find answers, and in so doing, further lose their ability to focus, and end up living another person’s life.

          Nelson Mandela, the great anti-apartheid revolutionary leader and first president of the Republic of South Africa, in reply to questions about his choice of life, stated:

 “There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than one you are capable of living.”

 A cursory look at the life of this great man will reveal that, beginning early in his life, despite being the son of a local chief with better privileges, he chose to live his life with full passion, avoiding the easy way but living fully to his sole aim of achieving a dissolution of the vicious apartheid system that subjugated so many of his people. And even though he spent 27 years in prison, he never lost his passion. Without any doubt, he lived his life to the very end, to the fullest.

          The true quality of your life is neither inherited, nor is it passed on from generation to generation. It is in fact, created day by day with your own thoughts and attitude. It is a complex mixture of what you have learnt, your experiences, the examples of others, and your basic personality. It is a strictly personal journey, and should never be compared with the lives of anyone else. It is a process that continues for as long as you are alive. It is neither easy nor free from errors or bad judgment, but it demands that you fully understand the reasons, avoid copying others and constantly correct your mistakes.

          But trying to choose to live a full life requires a degree of confidence and of commitment for most of your life. It is neither automatic nor does it come easy. It requires, above all a degree of resolution and understanding as well as a deep-seated desire to stay true to yourself and principles. This requires certain actions and standards that must be faithfully applied, even during the when they might be difficult to maintain. Among these are:

 HONESTY:

 William Shakespeare very accurately alluded to this when he wrote:

 “Above all, to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst be false to any man.”

 Unless we maintain a true sense of honesty, we hold ourselves back from growing. When we choose to lie, cheat, and resent others as a way of covering our fears and inadequacies we cannot hope to live a full life. There are times when it may be very hard to be honest, but not doing so will prevent any chance of living your life to its to its fullest.

 KNOW YOURSELF:

  You will only appreciate who you truly are when you first begin to accept yourself, your weaknesses and your strengths, your likes and dislikes, your past experiences and your reactions, as well as your fears and inadequacies. Unless you are fully conversant with all of these, you cannot hope to change them or at least accept them. To be truly successful, you must love yourself as you are, and not as you would like it to be.

 KNOW YOUR VALUES:

 Your core value are the deeply embedded beliefs that serve to shape who you are, and how your live your life. They essentially determine your response to changes in your life, and set goals for your future. Know them well, and use them as the primary foundation of any change contemplated

 AVOID DWELLING IN THE PAST:

 Try to live in the moment, avoid dwelling on the mistakes of the past, and instead choose to look optimistically to the future. Living in the past, or dwelling on your mistakes serve only to undermine your confidence, without in any way helping. The act of releasing the guilt and fears of the past will give you the courage and freedom to grow forward in confidence.

 LIVE WITH PASSION:

 You can only be sure that you are living fully when you do so with confidence and passion. Your life can only be truly complete when you are able to extract everything you can. If you allow others to influence you in any way, you will be cheating yourself and reducing your passion.

 KEEP DREAMING:

 One of the greatest enemies to living a full live is any attempt to stifle your dreams. Your hopes and dreams are the main incentives to growing more, providing rewards and fulfilling your life. Any attempt to suppress them, for whatever reason, will only serve to shackle your confidence and stunt your growth.

          Tragically, despite all its advantages of trying to live a full life, by far the greatest majority of people all over the world spend all their lives without ever achieving a full and passionate life. They are content to stay as they are, without ever feeling the joy and the passion that comes from doing so. They are content to just live out their lives stuck in a routine of working to live, unable or unwilling to make any change to provide improvement. They squander their hopes and dreams on the altar of safety and consistency, without ever knowing who they really are, or they deliberately suppress them in favor of maintaining the status quo. Unfortunately, they will all reach their end without ever appreciating the exhilarating feeling and the passion that only comes from living a full life. This is precisely what Louis E. Boone, a highly respected American academic author, was alluding when he wrote:

 “The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: -Could have, -Might have, -Should have.”

 -This indeed is the most critical question every one of us must answer when we arrive at the end of our life’s journey; Will we be able to look back at the road traveled and see a clear straight one, paved with all the good things we acquired from living a full and satisfactory life. Or will we see a road strewn with all the disappointments, regrets and dissatisfaction accumulated during a life overflowing with could haves, might haves, and should haves. Only you will know the answer!

 

 

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DAILY SLICES OF LIFE - Coping with the Storm

 

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High, will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. l will say to the Lord, “He is my rescue and my fortress, my God in whom I trust. He will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence”

         As I was wheeled into the emergency room, my dear wife Gloria held my hand tightly as she whispered these beautiful words contained in Psalm 91 over and over, hoping somehow that I too, will take them to heart. But alas, despite all her effort, my mind was once again trying to take control and all I thought of, was the symptoms I was experiencing, and the extent of heart failure I had developed. And even when my son continued to encourage me, as he has so often done recently, to hand over to others, the physician in me held firm, forcing me to stay on symptoms and prognosis. I was indeed, in the midst of a severe, overwhelming storm and afraid that I could neither control, or even cope, with its fury.

          I was admitted promptly and started on IV therapy to contain the rapidly developing symptoms and induce some degree of stability. –The doctors were concerned, and so was I!

         The night was something I shall always remember, not only for enormous quantity of fluid that I was able to produce, but even more so, by what went on in my mind as the night progressed. Although I have for years come to terms with the inevitability of death, and had made peace with the fact that death was not the end, but merely a part of our journey to eternity, yet, throughout that entire night, despite being given a sedative, and against my better judgment, I was a helpless victim of the storm raging within me. I wondered whether this was the storm that will finally take me; it certainly felt like it might. And much to my disappointment, I did not react as I planned to do, and accept it gracefully and expectantly. Instead, I worried about my wife and my children and how they will cope with this sudden loss. Once again, I failed that venerable test, and refused to         follow that simple, but all-powerful advice which has served so many for as long as there has been recorded history: “To let go and let God.”

          But something happened during the night that had a profound effect on me. I had dosed off when I suddenly became aware of a strange presence. It repeated the same words from Psalm 91 that my wife had done earlier, but in such a beautiful melody that continues to ring in my ears, and is indelibly imprinted in my psyche:

 “He is my rescue and my fortress, my God in whom I trust. He will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence”

         To this day, I am not sure whether this experience was a natural event and I had just remembered my wife’s words, or as many will describe it as a transformative experience from some external, spiritual source. Although I at this point am not able to be absolutely sure what happened, but whatever the source, I awoke far more calm, and willing to accept whatever the outcome that occurs.

          As I mulled this over, I clearly remembered the experience of my late brother, who more than 30 years ago, while he was seriously ill and an impatient of the Ottawa General hospital, behaved so badly that his recovery was seriously compromised. In extreme desperation, my sister, who resided in Ottawa, called me for help. I travelled to Ottawa, the next day, arriving at about 6pm. I was met by my brother-in-law who took me directly to the hospital. To my absolute surprise, as I entered the room, I found him calm, cheerful and very positive. He then related his experience of the night before when he insisted, he was visited by Jesus Christ, dressed in white robes and they had a long discussion. Since that day, and for the succeeding 3 years of his life, he remained a model in patience and happiness despite his progressive deterioration. To him, and to everyone else, this was indeed a transformative experience.

          And then, there was also the experience of my son who as a child suffered a serious heart problem for which there was no treatment at the time. He was referred to an electrophysiologist who had planned to try ablation. Unfortunately, the attempt failed and he was sent to the ICU. He was by then in a state of uncontrolled fear. That night he is convinced he was visited by Jesus, who reassured him that all will be well. The next morning, he woke up calm and not afraid anymore, and was then subsequently discharged a few days later. He continues to be sure, very much like his uncle, that he was visited by Jesus.

          To this day I am still somewhat skeptical about giving these experiences a truly spiritual etiology. The doctor in me continues to search for a psychological or physiological answer without much success. But this much I know, that these experiences are real and are consistent, and the results they produce are positive and lasting.

           The literature overflows with examples and experiences of such incidents, all of which seem to follow the same pattern of somehow dramatically altering conditions of despair to hope, of despondency to confidence, and of fear and inadequacy to strength and optimism. Psychologists, as well as wide range of other specialties generally acknowledge the validity of these incidents, without necessarily accepting them to be spiritual.

          For my own self, I find it difficult to reject the explanation that these special experiences all have some degree of spiritual involvement, and that the hand of the Almighty may play a significant role in their occurrences. Suffice it to say that we are as yet a long way from finding the answer. Perhaps the following comment by an Unknown author may offer some help:

 “Sacred and scared are spelt with the same letters.

Awful proceeds from the same root derivative as awesome, as do terrifying and terrific.

Every negative experience holds the seed of transformation.”

 

 

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